Waterloo - Organisers of the fifteenth annual Sydney City Square Dance Collective Square Dance have touted the event a rousing success, despite a bout of food poisoning claiming the lives of 28 attendees.
"Seriously, how many square dances have you been to without a body count?" said SCSDC director Morris Wellborne. "That's right, not too many. It all comes with the territory. This shit is real. Why do you think it's always such a struggle for us to get people to show up to these things?"
The food poisoning has been traced back to a batch of undercooked fish sticks that were being served as appetisers. Chief executive offer of Fishy Pete's Seafood Stix (sic) Hershel Hetherington refused to accept blame when confronted by the press with news of the tragedy.
"What the hell is the SCSDC? Square dancing? Okay, and so they ate some of our fish sticks that were undercooked, is that what went wrong? Christ...fucking journos...you know I'm a busy man. I really don't have time for this sort of thing."
Mr Wellborne responded to these comments by flagging his intention to take Fishy Pete's to court.
"I'll tell you one thing, this is the last time I let Fishy Pete ruin one of my square dances," said Mr Wellborne. "He's going to pay alright, especially for what he did to my dog, Grover. Poor little guy, ate one of those poisonous fish sticks and it made him so sick and insensible and disorientated that he couldn't even notice my car reversing into him."
Grover was unavailable for comment.
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