Man, I’m so pumped for Mother’s Day 2013. I’ve got the date marked on the calendar and I’m counting down the sleeps! Why? Well, it just so happens that I’ve got a seriously major gift lined up.
Normally I go with something pretty generic – flowers, chocolates, that sort of thing. But this year it’s going to be a little bit different. This year I’m going to say, “I love you Ma,” with a piece of designer lingerie.
Oh yeah, Mom is gonna be psyched! Let’s just say I’ve spend more than a little bit of time rifling through the old girl’s underwear drawer, so I know she’s ready for an upgrade. And, because I’m so accustomed to her measurements, picking out a size that complements her features whilst providing an adequate level of support should be an absolute cinch!
Asides from adding a little spice to the bedroom proceedings, a nice piece of lingerie can act as the perfect confidence-booster for a woman of my mother’s age and experience. It’ll be so awesome to see her turn heads as she saunters down the street with the confident strut that comes from knowing she’s wearing a beautiful pair of underwear – I can’t wait!
Certain friends have suggested that my decision is a little weird, but I attribute that to their ignorant minds more than anything else. To be honest, if there’s a better way to say, “I love and appreciate you” to the woman who brought you into this world that a nice piece of lingerie then I don’t really want to know about it.
And just quietly, I think my status as favourite son is pretty safe from here.
Yours sincerely,
Bruce Willis
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