Masterchef Contestant a Cannibal

In news that is sure to shock fans of the series, a recently eliminated contestant of the reality television show Masterchef has been outed as a cannibal.

The culinary persuasion of Wade Drummond, a 28 year old commercial labourer from WA, was revealed when footage of him trying to gnaw through judge Matt Preston's thigh was leaked on one of the show's fan-sites. 

Preston’s fellow judges George Calombaris and Gary Mehigan acted quickly, prising Drummond's vice-like jaws apart with a set of tongs before knocking him unconscious with a mallet and escorting him from the premises. The episode was subject to some major editing. 


"Yes, I am pretty disappointed to be eliminated, particularly under these circumstances," said Drummond from his holding cell. "But I just couldn't resist. Before the judging one of the assistants had spilt a little bit of oregano on Matt's leg, lightly seasoning it. And he was just sitting there, sweating, waiting to be eaten."


Rumours persist that the shows producers were well aware of Drummond's particular perversion, and looking to incorporate it into some sort of pressure test scenario. 


"I can neither confirm nor deny," said one producer, wishing to remain anonymous. "But it certainly would've made for some good television. Image, each contestant facing off in some sort of battle royale – the victor becoming the chef, the loser becoming the dish! Think of the ratings!"


As cannibalism is illegal in Australia, Drummond's immediate outlook seems to be pretty bleak, but he’s remaining philosophical. 

"To be honest if I had my time over I probably would've done the same thing. You can only look at something that delicious (Preston) for so long without eating it. I'm not superman!"

LBAP